Just Like A Pill
by starrynight89
Summary: Now I know I'm going to get a lot of flames about how the characters are OOC but this is like a piece from Harry and Pansy's relationship. They have been seeing each other for a while but I guess this part is the step towards accepting their feelings desp


_Love is overrated, the four lettered word that supposed to produce miracles. Sorry, can't say I've witnessed any. But, I can't help but wonder, what is love? What is so powerful about this mysterious human emotion that can enable a person go against everything he was taught to believe to a point of self-destruction, cross all hurdles, endure endless pain? Is it worth it? No. Are there any guarantees? No. So, what is love? An illusion? A mistake?_

_Is it love when I don't want to leave his embrace for all eternity? His arms protectively sheltering me from all of world's troubles, his breath like a soothing balm on my skin, the rhythmic drum of his heart acting as a lullaby. We're not supposed to be together they said, you're a Slytherin, he's a Gryffindor, they said 'It's not meant to be' they said. But somehow all the false pretenses, peer pressures, melt away when I'm in his arms, so, is this love? I know I'm betraying my friends and family but, all that seems secondary to his overpowering urge to be with him. So, what is love?_

_Love is a drug, an intoxicating, addictive drug. Disguised as a boon, promising to remove all your pain, until it's too late and you writher in pain, but you can't leave because the toxin had already incarcerated your will power, leaving you helpless._

_Though some people manage to escape the slowly killing poison but from that moment, they live a second life, a life without color, a life full of misery. So, I'd rather give in to the venom than live in a world where life is reduced to taking a breath, that's it, nothing more._

**_"I Swear, You're just like a Pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill…"_**

**_--"Just Like A Pill" By Pink_**

"The problem is," Harry started staring out of the window in the empty classroom trying to sort of his feelings for Pansy.

Yes, there were feelings, he had established that a while ago but he'd never imagined them to be this overpowering. For a while, he did consider telling Ginny but couldn't bare to endure the pain or the guilt. Yes, he was coward. Ginny knew something was wrong with him but she trusts him and that hurt Harry the most.

"I-I still love Ginny," he finished with an exasperated sigh, placing a hand on the adjacent wall, leaning in for support. Pansy stood close behind him, part of her was sick of his ambiguous dealings but the other, more dominant part, yearned to be with him. She didn't answer; she couldn't answer, because she was in love with a man who betrayed another woman. Though her motives weren't intended to be selfish, she didn't want him to leave, but at the same time Weasley didn't deserve this.

So, she did what she usually does whenever Harry brought this up; nothing. She nails dug into her skirt refraining from the urge to grab Harry by the shoulders, and shake some sense into him; I love you, dimwit! Knowing that would only complicate things further (if humanely possibly), she settled with clenching her fists while Harry battled his inner conflict.

"I don't know," he finished. He lost, again, and settled with denial.

"I think you should talk to her about it," she managed to say.

"And say what? I've been cheating on you," he snarled.

"Yes! A better idea I'd say than stabbing her in back first and then apologizing for it!" There, she said it. The silence grew as she made her choice: She would let him go, if he loved her he'd come back, if not, then it wasn't meant to be. "I-I mean how could you possibly keep this a secret any longer?"

"You're right, what was I thinking? I already had everything I could ever want," Pansy turned away as her eyes stung with tiny drops of moisture, angrily brushing them away, before leaving the classroom.

Harry followed suite, frustrated, confused and closed his eyes, controlling the strong desire to hold her in his arms. He ran his hand threw his unruly hair, a small, wasted attempt to cool his temper. He closed his eyes, regaining his control, and opened his eyes to see Pansy disappear around the corner. His hands rested on his hips as he stood there for the longest time before looking down the empty hallway where Pansy had been a moment ago. He turned around, making his way towards the Gryffindor common room.

The weather had been erratic for the past few days, the sun peaking shyly through the clouds once in a while before disappearing once more behind the gray curtain. The chilly winter weather transcending to the much-awaited warm, spring climate. And what Harry did next had nothing to do with the weather, nor could it have been explained any other way; erratic was the word that fit best. He spun around at the other end of the secluded hallway, pausing for a moment, almost as if questioning his action, before breaking out into a run. Almost losing his balance while turning the corner, he continued down the staircase spotting her dejected frame sauntering to the Slytherin Tower. She turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps, her eyes widening in surprise. Harry slowed to a stop, hands on knees, catching his breath. Her expression questioning the same thing he asked himself before sprinting to her.

"I-I don't know why I'm here," he said stupidly breaking out in an embarrassed grin. Pansy cocked an eyebrow, she looked over his shoulder trying to calculate how far they were from the Infirmary, wondering if Madam Pomphrey would be out for lunch at this time.

"Screw it," he said grabbing her arms and enveloped her into a kiss. Pansy totally caught off surprise, widening her eyes before giving in.

"But, all I know is, I love you," he managed to say after pulling away.

"Ok, did you fall off the stairs again?" she asked seriously. Harry broke out into a laugh and Pansy silently confirmed her prediction.

Yup, a serious blow to the head.

"Pansy, No one will be to explain why or how this happened, not even you and me. The way I see it, we can either deny our feelings for each other for society's sake and go on pretending to hate each other, or we can ignore what other people think and live for ourselves. It's your call, I've made my decision." It took a lot courage to do what he did and images of Ginny still flashed through his head, leaving his heart feeling heavy with guilt. But, he concluded it was better to tell her the truth than foster a lie.

"Where did that come from?" she was disheveled, this wasn't the Harry she knew; decisive, assertive and strong. The Harry she knew always covered up his feelings for her and brooded over cheating on Ginny.

He rolled his eyes. "Do you always have to ruin a good moment with your blasted questions?" She punched his arm playfully.

"I just want to make sure this is the real deal, no strings attached." His eyes softened, she was contemplating on the validity of his statement and he couldn't blame her. On numerous occasions, he had ditched her for Ginny, partly because feared to accept how much he loved Pansy.

"Pansy, I'm sorry if I hurt you in the past and I can't change that. But I promise, I will never let you doubt me ever again. I'm here to stay." She could hear the sincerity in his tone and the honesty in his luscious green eyes. At that moment she knew this wasn't a joke, it was the real thing. Sure, she pictured it a little differently but the sincerity in his words covered up for it.

"I-I love you Harry, that's why I stayed through everything." She smiled. They sealed their confessions with a kiss and though their minds were infused with doubt and fear, at that moment everything melted away. They acknowledged the long fight ahead, friendships that would transcend into hatred, promises that would be broken and families that would be distraught. Their love was like the light at the end of the tunnel, which made the fight worthwhile.

* * *

_Hey guys! I know it's been a while but I'm finally back! This was just something I whipped up last week. It was sort of the result of sudden insight and a burst of some much needed inspiration. Let me know if you like it. . . . or hate it. *gulp*_

_*starry_


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